growing up random blurbs

distracted

Wednesday, August 06, 2008tee

i want to be here now, but my focus remains elsewhere. my mind wanders and my heart is not totally into this.

random thoughts run through, as well as what ifs and questions i've buried in the past, memories i've learned to say good bye to, even feelings that i've so long suppressed that i've succumbed to numbness. there are so many things left hanging for so long that they're ready to fall down on me. so many questions i wanted answers to miraculously show up at my doorstep things i've wanted to be begone with once and for all.

yet here i am,
reopening the closed chapter,
replaying the lost memory and a forgotten melody when i am supposed to be making new ones. believe me, i want to be here but there's a teeny bit of me, holding me back -that just can't.

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