life lessons reflections

when insomnia strikes

Saturday, May 19, 2012tee

it's in the wee hours already but my mind is active as ever. my body is dead tired, but my mind is running the show. dunno, maybe it's the nes-lo (3-in-1 coffee and milo) i took earlier today, when i was beating the morning headbang. i always pay dearly for these caffeine drinks and keep telling myself i should let go, but there are just days when caffeine is the only thing that can keep your eyes open. :)

tonight, while everybody else is in lala-land, a rush of emotions fill me, a race of thoughts and ideas.

a thousand realizations hit me. how i so much want to be a better person and better at my relationships. how i so much want to make up for time that has gone by, and how desperately i want to make every moment count. time's a fleeing real fast, do you feel that too?

i hang my head in shame thinking how i had hurt and disappointed the people who did nothing but love and be there for me. and most of the time, putting other less important things and priorities; or worse, selfishly putting myself over others, forgetting what truly matters in the end.

God lovingly pointed out this to me tonight, I believe. And He will, in His grace and love, help me become a better person. everyday He continues to mold and use me as He wills. i am still a work in progress.

i am also overwhelmed with this intense feeling of gratefulness, a bout of thankfulness for a multitude of undeserved blessings and opportunities, most of which i have complacently taken for granted and just thought of "it" being there. may i always be filled with a child-like awe and appreciation of what's in front of me and what i have. may i always be amazed at the view of sunset, the skies and sunrise. may i always cheerfully come to work, even if most days start with me arguing and plotting with myself on taking a sick day. may i never go tired of making time with loved ones even when it feels i have my hands full. may i never grow tired of singing praises, no matter what the circumstance may be.

the clock's ticking. dawn's coming,
another day looms near. and i am still up. i tried counting sheep, but stopped at 40-ish. then i started blogging, and now, i'm yawning. thank You, now i can sleep.

* just one insomniac blog which i only got to post just now. who knows the best thoughts and realizations come when you're in bed? :)

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