it's in the wee hours already but my mind is active as ever. my body is dead tired, but my mind is running the show. dunno, maybe it's the nes-lo (3-in-1 coffee and milo) i took earlier today, when i was beating the morning headbang. i always pay dearly for these caffeine drinks and keep telling myself i should let go, but there are just days when caffeine is the only thing that can keep your eyes open. :)
tonight, while everybody else is in lala-land, a rush of emotions fill me, a race of thoughts and ideas.
a thousand realizations hit me. how i so much want to be a better person and better at my relationships. how i so much want to make up for time that has gone by, and how desperately i want to make every moment count. time's a fleeing real fast, do you feel that too?
i hang my head in shame thinking how i had hurt and disappointed the people who did nothing but love and be there for me. and most of the time, putting other less important things and priorities; or worse, selfishly putting myself over others, forgetting what truly matters in the end.
God lovingly pointed out this to me tonight, I believe. And He will, in His grace and love, help me become a better person. everyday He continues to mold and use me as He wills. i am still a work in progress.
i am also overwhelmed with this intense feeling of gratefulness, a bout of thankfulness for a multitude of undeserved blessings and opportunities, most of which i have complacently taken for granted and just thought of "it" being there. may i always be filled with a child-like awe and appreciation of what's in front of me and what i have. may i always be amazed at the view of sunset, the skies and sunrise. may i always cheerfully come to work, even if most days start with me arguing and plotting with myself on taking a sick day. may i never go tired of making time with loved ones even when it feels i have my hands full. may i never grow tired of singing praises, no matter what the circumstance may be.
the clock's ticking. dawn's coming,
another day looms near. and i am still up. i tried counting sheep, but stopped at 40-ish. then i started blogging, and now, i'm yawning. thank You, now i can sleep.
* just one insomniac blog which i only got to post just now. who knows the best thoughts and realizations come when you're in bed? :)
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