jaden parenthood

Two Years

Friday, March 17, 2017tee

It's been two years since you made us parents.  Two years. How quickly it went by. It's true what they say, the years are short but the days sure are long.
You're growing quickly and as I reminisce and look at photos of you as a baby I realise just how much you've changed these couple of years. You're a toddler now, officially. In between being a baby and a child. 

Someday I'd remember these days as days of transitions and in betweens. In between needing me and wanting your independence. In between talking so much and needing me for your words to be understood by others. I am your handy dandy interpreter. I can understand your whims, your shrieks and sometimes you'd just look at me and I know exactly what you want. You're at the phase where you're wanting to see and explore the world with one of your hands carefully holding mine. You're observing and then testing limits and moving forward while throwing glances down my way. You need me and then you don't. You want to walk on your own and sometimes, you'd rather be carried around. Yes, child, that was a good 7 blocks you asked Mum to carry you from church to the shops.

I love that you still need me and rely on me. I enjoy being able to be there to do things with and for you. I love that I'm the first person you go to when you're tired, cranky or upset. That you feel safe with me and comfortable to be your self. But there are days I wish you wouldn't too much though. When sometimes I'd prefer to go to the toilet alone and without curious eyes following me. When sometimes I wish I could just be given a few minutes of quiet. When I could just please finish my coffee in peace. 

But a part of me wants to enjoy this phase while it lasts. Because I know too well that this won't last forever.

You're starting to lose your chunkiness and your oh-so-addicting baby smell. Your babbles and baby talk are starting to sound like real words. Your climbing and running and exploring more and more. You have become more and more expressive on what you want and need. The alphabet, numbers and nursery rhymes are now something you could effortlessly recite and sing. 

You are slowly becoming your own person now, too. Bits and pieces of your personality is being revealed everyday and it amazes me so much how you're your own person now with your own interests and quirks. You're carefree and chill, inhibited and bit shy. You remind me of myself in some ways - how you'd take a while to warm up to other people and kids, and that you'd just love to quietly sit and stand in the corner on your own and play - wanting to be in the background yet carefully observing and participating in what's going on. Your contagious, infections laugh... it's so genuine and real. Oh how you love to laugh. You're the jokester, finding humour in the simple funny things. Like that drawer that keeps on opening no matter how many times we close it. Boy, that cracked you up. You love building things and disassembling them which is a challenge for a semi-OC mum like me - this certainly taught me to relax a bit and let you be a kid. That mess is OK. Well at least sometimes.

Having you is a blessing - it reminds me of grace and love. You're definitely teaching me a thing or two as I watch you grow. And definitely, watching you grow and you're child-like awe at things and the world make me stop and pause too. Sometimes, I get so lost in the things that I have to do everyday that I forget to stop and enjoy - you certainly remind me to do just that. I need to stop and pause more often, you're growing fast right in front of my eyes. You remind me to be thankful always. Like how you automatically say thanks when there's food in front of you. Or how you tried to climb the bookshelf because you wanted me to read your bible. 

It's a time of just you and me. Days at playgroup. At the park. At the library. At church. One day I have to give way for the inevitable - for school, for friends.  As part of life, this will happen eventually. 

But can we linger a bit more? I'm not ready for all of this to end yet. 
Happy birthday, buddy. It's been a grace-filled couple of years. Know you are something your dad and I are thankful for each and every day.

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