keira parenthood

Three months.

Thursday, August 09, 2018tee

Three months was three months ago, but here I am finally publishing this before it becomes “three years ago”! :)

Three months doesn’t sound so long in the grand scheme of things. But three months is a big deal. It’s the end of an adjustment period, and true enough, everything has sort of fallen into routine for us now. We’ve gotten used to our new usual and have gotten over the initial shock of the changes that came when you arrived. The so-called fourth trimester is now over, too. Feeding is now established and you’re now breastfeeding like a champ. We’ve gotten far in this and while it was off to a bumpy start with loads of pain, tears, discomfort involved, I’m happy we stuck through and gave ourselves time. Sleeping has gotten better, too. Today you’ve been sleeping all night, taking 10 hours in between feedings. Though I am sorry for the uninterrupted day naps when we needed to go places. 

I am enjoying these late night feedings and cuddles more and more. It’s the only uninterrupted time we have together. Our days are filled with so much noise and chaos, activities and chores, places to go to, that we rarely both get to enjoy this quiet, peaceful time. In the quiet, I get to pause and collect my thoughts and actually be “in the moment”. I could give you my all, my 100%. You’re taking longer stretches of sleep now, it won’t be long we won’t have this time anymore. I know too well you won’t be this little forever. And so, with your dad’s snores in the background, I hold you close. In the serenity of the night, I take in your sweet, baby smell. And then you give me your biggest, gummy smiles. It’s the sweetest thing ever.

You’re growing steadily and getting heavier these days. You’ve outgrown some of your clothes and some have grown snug already. You’ll be (finally) officially out of 0000s soon enough.

You surprised us with rolling over while doing tummy time a few weeks back. There’ll be many more milestones and changes and routines will change soon, I know. But I am enjoying these moments- pausing and pondering (at least trying to as I multitask a million other things) at the magic of your firsts because in as much as I want you to stay little forever, that won’t be the case.

You taught me much about myself in just a short amount of time. Of just how much I could do, of just how much pain I could endure. Of just how much I could love. You taught me to relax and be chilled out in my parenting, too. To let go of a few things and stick with the essentials. You taught me to slow down, to enjoy the moment when I can, there’s no need ro tarry and hurry, you’ll only be this little for such a short amount of time. And while you’ve taught me how to multitask to the next level that I can never do everything. It’s okay to ask for help, I am not supermom - It takes a village to raise a kid. It’s okay not to be perfect, that the unending list of chores can wait. Importantly, you taught me to take care of myself too, to nurture myself and my needs and to sleep when I can. You taught me to appreciate blessings and things more. You showed me once again just how awesome your dad truly is - that guy can comfort you when nothing seems to work, how naturally chill he is and amazing to you and your brother and how effortlessly he can rock with you in an arm and work on his laptop on the other.

Your brother... he might be the loudest and may not be the gentlest at times, but he adores you in his little heart and loves you the only way he knows how. He’s been great cheering you on as you spend tummy-time on the mat. I know at times he bugs you and tends to have no concept of personal space, but he loves you just the same. Soon enough, you’ll be both growing up and playing together. I look forward to that when that time comes, when I won’t be worried that he’d squish you because he’s over-excited, smitten by you, and doesn’t have any idea of his strength. But not too soon, I still want to enjoy your baby-ness, please.

We’re happy to have you in our lives. You are the tiny piece we didn’t know we needed in our little family. 

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