family jaden

The first day of kinder feels

Friday, February 22, 2019tee

Oh, I now get it.

The rollercoaster of emotions as your little one goes through another milestone.
Mine hit another one last week - first day of kindergarten.
So I, naturally, had all the feels. The sense of pride that he’s grown up and that you’ve both survived this number of years together. I will always have these early years with him, and there's nothing that I would change. The feeling of disbelief that time flew by quickly - was it just yesterday that I looked at this newborn for the first time? That I felt he was a baby forever? Thinking to myself how the days are long, when will I get a break? When will he go to kinder?' Surprise, surprise, the thing I've been wanting to arrive soon? It’s here. The sense of relief - finally, he’s off somewhere. Phew. I love him to pieces but I’ve run out of ideas and activities to do with him and his unlimited energy. I get to have a mini-break from the unlimited questions, maybe my brain will recover from the last set of questions, haha. Excitement for this new thing that he’s getting into - meeting new people, making new friends, trying new things, learning. Feeling a bit left out and sad that his world is expanding and I get to share him and his time. I won’t be his 24/7 buddy anymore. It’s one foot forward and backward. My baby is growing up and there’s nothing I can do but stand and look.

Most kids get anxious over starting new, mine dives right straight in into things. I remember leaving him as a baby (10 months old) in creche and he just went straight ahead to the toys and carers without looking back at me.  As if he was saying, "Bye, mum. I can take it from here". He’s always like that, separation anxiety was never a thing for him. And while it makes drop-offs easier and drama-free, it felt like the anxiety was with mum who was having a hard time letting go. 

True enough, J told him on his first day he just sped off and went into the room by himself. My poor husband didn't have time to react after he said "bye, Jaden". Little boy practically left him mid-sentence, too excited for kinder.

I once asked him if it’s ok for me to go to kinder with him. “No you can’t come, mummy. Only kids go to kinder.”

Okay, buddy. I’m just here for you though. Always. 

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