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Jaden | Four

Thursday, March 14, 2019tee

Little guy, you're now four. That is huge.

I can see how much you've grown and how independent you've become, how you like to do things on your own. How you insist to learn doing things by yourself and how mighty proud you are when you accomplish things by yourself. I love how sensitive and proactive you are, always offering to help. "Mummy, I want to help you mop the floor, please?" "Do you need help, mum? Are you OK?" "Is it time to start the dishwasher? Is it full?" You look forward to doing your "jobs" at home, being our little helper. You'd be disappointed and sometimes throw a fit when you'd hear the washing machine beeping, "I want to turn it on!". I can say I am enjoying this independence thing you've got going.

It has been a year of endless, relenting, and sometimes mind-melting questions too. WHY, WHY, WHY as you try to understand how the world works. 

I love how you look after your sister. How you tell her off when she's about to do things she's not supposed to. "No, no, no, not safe, Keira!" You'd even go as far as carrying her away from "danger", and she'd just squeal and smile, loving that you're carrying her. 

I love how you still insist on sitting on my lap. You are getting heavier but you're almost outgrowing my lap, too. I will enjoy these times as you beg me to play with you, beg me to read you another story, and hold my hand while we walk. I will enjoy your cuddles and sloppy kisses and sometimes your hurried "i love yous". I will try to enjoy you sometimes asking us to sit down with you as you doze off. I enjoy listening to your stories of how Sunday School or kinder went. I will enjoy how "clingy" you seem when you've gotten back from kinder. Truth be told, I miss you too when you're away, buddy. I enjoy seeing things from your eyes, and how your imagination works. "Mummy, when I grow up, I'm going to be so tall I'd be up the roof!" 

I love how you say you'd give us "three kisses, or five!" and then you'd kiss us with big, sloppy pecks.  I love how innocent and pure you still are, how trusting you are. I feel a bit sorry I have to teach you that the world isn't all black and white. I want to protect you as long as I can especially when I read about some evil/crazy thing going on in this world - but I know I just can't. Not forever.

Sometimes it amazes me how mature-sounding you are, like how you seem to exude in wisdom as you behave and speak. Then you do something else or say something else that brings me back to earth. Oh yeah, you're still a child. Sometimes I forget. 

I love how respectful and polite you are, how gentle and sweet you are. I enjoy watching you play with other kids. You easily adapt to whoever you're playing with. You are not picky with friends as long as they're "nice". You make friends quickly. After a month in kinder, you seem to know more than half the class by name. You think everybody's your friend. "Mummy, can I share my lunchbox to everybody in kinder?" 

This photo just resonates with me lately: one we took during our recent holiday early this year. 
One step forward, one step back. A smile, a glance, looking back at me. Excitedly wanting to get ahead and move on, yet patiently waiting for me to catch up.  These days, I feel like I am always catching up. 

This year has been a year of changes and a LOT of growing up. A lot of firsts too. Little Sunday School. Kindergarten. Each year, on your birthday, and more so this year, I am painfully reminded of how much you're growing up, and how quickly it is happening.

This year, you started wearing glasses, too. It was a good thing we found out during one of your check-ups that you needed to be seen by an optometrist stat. Apparently, you've been far-sighted since you were born and there was no way we could've known. While I still feel the slightest tinge of guilt thinking what it must have been for you for the past 3.5 years, I am grateful that you have been so cool, calm and happy regardless.  I am thankful that you can now finally see the world as we all do.

Recently, you've been wanting to be a pilot. Then a bus driver. Then a doctor. Then an astronaut. But mostly a pilot on most days. You can be anything you want, buddy. There's still a lot of time to grow up. Not too fast, please.

I look at you and you have grown so much, learned so much. And I couldn't be prouder.

Happy birthday, Jaden. No matter how old you are, you will always be my sweet, easy-going,  little boy.

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